You, Me, and Kevin Bacon

Duane has graciously opened this blog to many authors — I hope this, my first posting here, serves the purpose of what New Connections, New Directions is about.

Over on my own blog, I’ve posted a rather lengthy reflection on an online assessment I did recently to get an analysis of my social/professional network. After about an hour and a half of data entry and whatnot, the assessment generated a network map that identifies how the people I’m connected to are connected to each other.

It’s kind of like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, only you’re the one everyone’s connected to.

The report provides a discussion of social capital and some questions to think about: the constraints/obstacles associated with your network, the opportunities/possibilities that exist within your network, and the choices/decisions you make about your network.

Then, it asks the weirdest question of all: “Is this the right network for you?”  What a question!  Can you change your network, or is the network you have necessarily YOUR network, exactly what it’s supposed to be?

The discussion really centers around two types of social capital — the tight, cohesive bonds vs. the connections that promote new opportunities and new ideas and new resources.  Of course, we’re all on the continuum, somewhere between a small, exclusive, cliquish network and a huge, completely unconnected, random network.

The report concludes with an idea: “Your network is a living creature.  It changes over time.  You can nurture and cultivate your network, or you can neglect and starve it.” I think one of Broadway’s strengths is its connectionality. (Is that a word? Spellcheck doesn’t seem to think so…of course, Spellcheck doesn’t think “Spellcheck” is a word, so there you go.) What I mean is, we at Broadway find great strength and comfort in our focus on how we’re all connected.

So how can we nurture our network within Broadway, and how can we extend our network beyond the folks we serve on committees with or those we sit next to on Sunday?  And how can we move our second-degree connections closer to first-degree connections? And does anyone know Kevin Bacon?

Reconciliation

I’m trying to reconcile two things I read recently:

One is a point of view on the ever increasing evidence that being gay is biologically based from Al Mohler, the president of Southern Seminary (Southern Baptist):

If a biological basis is found, and if a prenatal test is then developed, and if a successful treatment to reverse the sexual orientation to heterosexual is ever developed, we would support its use as we should unapologetically support the use of any appropriate means to avoid sexual temptation and the inevitable effects of sin.

The other is a point of view on a civil war from Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States (2nd inaugural address):

Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding. Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God’s assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men’s faces, but let us judge not, that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered. That of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has His own purposes.

It makes me sad that someone would want to experiment with a fetus to change them into someone they were not born to be, despite the consequences. It actually makes me furious. I love who I am, all of who I am. My identity and who I love is not sinful.

How do I live in that place Lincoln describes?

A Young Person’s Thoughts turn to Summer

Okay, so I’m not so young — and this is my first time posting on a blog quite like this. I hope it works. Here goes.

A week ago Friday I was thinking about the good work and discussions that have happened over the last several years related to our summer programming for our neighbors around Broadway. It was 21 years ago that I first got involved with the summer program. I saw it go through changes and (dare I say it) evolution over the last 21 years. Most of which I wasn’t present for — but of those last 21 years I have been a part of what has happened in the summer 10 of those years.

Last year, Carmen Dube, did this really cool thing and took people from our parish on trips to Pittsburgh to look at an amazing place called the Manchester Craftsmen Guild and to New York City to visit The Point in the Bronx.  These two places located in urban communities not unlike our own are places bursting with joy and energy and the gifts of the Spirit.  Carmen came and led the newly named JCAMP out of the conversations that happened in and following those trips.

As I was thinking of all this good work that has been going on — trying to find ways to build on and celebrate the gifts of each person in our parish — trying to find ways to encourage connection between peoples who either share the same concern/gift/passion or who want to put their disparate gifts together for social change or for mutual delight and enjoyment…I had a new thought (actually it was last Friday).  I mentioned it out loud to someone for the first time on Sunday and I have been tentatively trotting it out ever since.

Here’s the idea: For the summer, building on our mission to seek, welcome and value all people — we hire 10-20 youth and adults to be what could be called “Animators of the Spirit.”  Their role is to find out the gifts, the call, the passion that others have and to find a way to invest in those gifts for the benefit of our larger community.  My experience and intuition tells me that each of these Animators would be drawn to those who have similar gifts, call and passion.  So, for example, if we had a young person and an adult who were gifted artists they might become Animators of the Spirit for the Arts (or — Roving Artists) — they would find other artists in our parish and bring them together to encourage their gift, to invest in it, and to celebrate it.  For example, these Roving Artists might meet a young person who draws well and wants to teach other young people how to draw.  The Roving Artists would provide supplies if the artist could come up with students — the class might be in the person’s home, or another building around the community, or even the church building.  If the class goes for a few weeks and a body of work is developed the Roving Artists would look for places to exhibit and celebrate that work.

One person that commented on this suggested a Roving Barber — An Animator of the Spirit for Hair.  Hair is a big deal in our parish.  In De’Amon’s Roving Listener work around our community he came across a lot of folks who do other’s hair in their homes or in beauty salons or barber shops.  We have other hair stylists in and around the life of our whole parish (our cup overflows — even while my hair recedes).  As the Roving Barber would go around I could imagine that s/he would overhear conversations that then would feed further action and perhaps even help connect people to jobs.

I could imagine a Roving Scientist — a young person or adult with an interest in this area who would find others who share the same excitement and might want and need the encouragement to carry out an experiment — or who wants to teach others about chemistry, or math, or physics, or computer science.

Or a Roving Entrepreneur who would encourage and invest in local entrepreneurs (I know a woman in our parish who has a dream of bringing to life a cooperative restaurant just a couple of blocks from our church building) — what would it look like to spend our summer in such a way — helping build economy, mutual delight, and connections across all sorts of boundaries?

I would imagine these Animators meeting every Monday and Friday to share what each of them are hearing, seeing and investing in — and seeing if there are ways to build on and connect what they are doing.  To pray together about and for the people they are connecting and visiting.

In one way this would be a big change from the church offering child care to neighbors (a set time during each week day).  In another way it is just one new possible way of building on the gifts, call and passion of all the people of our parish in a direction that we have been going.

So — in a blog entitled “New Connections, New Directions” — what does this make you think about, dream about?  Is it crazy? (well…of course)  What’s missing?  What could be added?  What discerning questions do you have?  Where do dragons lie?

We are a Flourishing Congregation!

Earlier this week, a handful of us folks from Broadway had the opportunity to spend two energetic and inspiring days together talking, laughing, listening, brainstorming, writing, drawing, and even doing a little spontaneous singing — the Rainbow Connections of all things!  This was all possible because we took part in a workshop put on by the Indianapolis Center for Congregations called Flourishing Congregations: Moving From Dreams to Reality.  At this workshop we were one of many congregations and institutions represented who were looking for ways to identify what it is that makes a congregation vibrant, what traits do these faith communities share, and how can we learn from each other.

Now, I have a confession to make.  I started writing this post with my usual meager attempt at cynical wit and tongue in cheek humor.  I was going to begin by asking the question “are we really a flourishing congregation?” and then find a way to wind around the question until I could come at it with a confirmatory nod.  But as I started doing this, I immediately realized that I was ignoring the very first principle we were introduced to at the workshop:  Positive Image, Positive Words and Positive Emotions.  The very language we use to describe ourselves has a great impact on what will be able to accomplish as a community.  Or, to put it in the words of Wayne Dyer, “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”  And so I quickly remembered that I needed to embrace the positive with every opportunity — I needed to begin by affirming, not doubting.  I did not need to ask the question “are we a flourishing congregation?”  I know the answer!  We ARE a Flourishing Congregation!

Throughout the conference, this was affirmed over and over again.  We engaged in activities that pinpointed characteristics of vital communities, we identified talents, gifts and assets, we crafted provocative statements that challenged us to think about how we can grow together, and we dreamed out loud about who we want to be in the year 2012, just five short years from now.

I thought one activity in particular illustrated the vitality and spirit of our congregation.  It was called asset mapping.  In it we were charged with reconizing and naming the many types of assets we have at our disposal as a church.  To help us with the accounting, we were given big, bright post-it notes on which to write out each asset.  With limited time, we would name them by category — physical assets, individual assets, associations, institutions, economic assets, etc. — and put all these sticky notes on a large poster size page tacked to the wall.  Most of the congregation in our meeting room filled one or two neatly organized pages of assets.  Our crazy Broadway bunch (who fortunately had a corner table and thus more wall space) filled about ten sheets of poster paper with a colorful collage of assets overflowing each page! 

Was the activity telling us that at Broadway has more assets than the average Indianapolis Congregation?  I don’t think so.  I believe  the exercise illustrated how we have become better at recognizing the many, many gifts that surround us.  We see more than just our lovely building and committed members, we see relationships and connections.  We see people far and near who support and strengthen us.  We see the talents, gifts and dreams throughout our parish.  Furthermore, we are opening our eyes to ways in which we can connect these many assets to allow folks live out their callings and fulfill their dreams. 

What an inspiring two days it was.  But what excites me most,  is the knowledge that we will be bringing these activities back to use inside our circles.  I am anxious to hear more voices share their thoughts and dreams as all of us together reflect on who we are, recognize the blessing around us and imagine who we can become.

A little visual change…

Barb recently noted that the comments on the format I had originally chosen were hard to read.  I agree, the print was pretty small and not dark enough.  I switched to a different format that has a little more contrast and has a lovely picture at the top.  I will miss my picture of the turning bend, but I think the bridge has nice symbolism too.  Tell us what you think.  We don’t have to stick with it. 

This sounds cool

 I ran across this organization, Crosswalk America,  linked on Brian’s Beautiful Heresy Blog.  I tend to get pretty excited when I see vibrant, progressive folks really embracing the principles of the loving, living Jesus.  Check it out, I think you’ll find it interesting. 

Holy Listening, It’s Not That Painful…(but it can be challenging.)

Ok, I couldn’t help messin’ with the metaphor…

But Holy Listening is something that we seem to be talking about alot lately in our Broadway circles.  In the opening page of the March Tower Chimes, our church’s newsletter, Pastor Mike challenges us to be Roving Listeners and to do some Holy Listening during this season of Lent.   

“What is Holy Listening?” you ask.  Really, Holy Listening is simply listening and connecting more deeply with each other.  Listening with our ears and our hearts.   Hearing the dreams and passions of the people we are talking with.

Holy listening may not be painful but it can be challenging.  I know this because I am often guilty of not doing it.  I continually struggle with always being present in a conversation.  I think that the fast pace of our culture conditions us not to be Holy Listeners.  Our tendency to multitask often causes us, while in conversation, to use the time the other person is speaking to be formulating our next response in our mind.  We grab a snippet of words from the other person and begin formulating a reply without ever listening to the entirety of the other person’s thoughts.  We want to finish the conversation so we can check it off our “to do” list and as a result we rush through it without fully experiencing its depth and meaning.

It reminds me of an experience I had while reading an entry on Shawndra’s Living Mindfully Blog.  It was morning and I had just dropped off  my daughter at preschool and returned home for my 125 minutes of liberty before needing to pick up my son from kindergarten.  (Yes, I have busy mornings.) During this short furlough, I often try to get as many things done as possible while I have the house to myself.  As a result,  I was simultaneously eating a hastily thrown together, microwaved quesadilla, putting away dishes from the dishwasher, and I had my laptop open on the counter trying to catch up with the latest entries on some of my favorite blogs.  So there I was, reading Shawndra’s thoughtful words about a meditation retreat she had just taken…let me rephrase that… she had just experienced.  Here was Shawndra talking on her blog about meditating and being present in spirit and body during this retreat.  She described the silence of her lunch and how it afforded her the opportunity to taste every element of her salad — quinoa, broccoli, avocado, pine nuts — she illustrated with words the beauty of the falling snow out the window while the act of taking nourishment was elevated to a spiritual awakening.  It was beauty and poetry and heart and soul…

And yet at that very moment as I was reading her words, I was gnawing on a slap dash assemblage of cheese and flatbread.  The collision of her expression juxtaposed against my mindless activity litterally caused me to stop chewing.  Then I paused and tentatively tried to “experience” my quesadilla.  (bad idea.)  It was bland and uninteresting and I probably would never remember it now if I had not had a revelatory moment during its consumption.

I think I often experience listening to others in the same comparative way.  When I try to do too many things at the same time, my listening skills are compromised and the value of the conversation is diminished.  Though I hate to admit it, I am often guilty of this with my kids throughout the day.  If you have kids, you’ve probably done it too. 

– “Papa, I need to tell you something”

–”uh huh, sure, OK, uh huh”

– “so I want to…”

–” What did you say, Honey?, I missed that.”

Sound familiar?  And yet we often do it (in a less obvious way) with each other.  But what we risk missing by not fully participating in the conversation is akin to the difference between Shanwdra’s delicious quinoa salad and my bland quesadilla.  We miss the richness and pleasure the other person’s discourse offers.  We miss the nuance of words, the revelation of passions, the glimpse of their dreams.

So I think I am going to accept Mike’s challenge for this Lenten Season and try to do more Holy Listening.  I want to listen better to my family, to the people around me and even to myself.  I want to try to slow down and be present in each moment.  I want to hear what others have to say.  I want to take time to hear what my heart has to say.  And hopefully in doing this, it will help me hear what God has to say.

Welcome! Come join the conversation!

Welcome friends.  This is a new blog for me (us???)  I hope it becomes an us…

 I’ve been thinking for some time that I want to start contributing to a different conversation than the one that takes place on my other blog,  potterdad.  (Don’t worry, I’m not quitting that one…)  But I am hoping that the things shared in this space will be about something a little broader – our communities, faith, friends, our life together, our spiritual journeys — all these things.  I am also hoping that it is a place where we can be honest about our struggles and our joys, where we can support each other and celebrate. 

As the title suggests, its about connecting with our fellow brothers and sisters and seeing where we are going on this journey called life.  So grab a hand and let’s see what’s around the bend — together.